Archive for the ‘Trade’ Category

Trade Deficit cont.

January 20, 2007

My trade deficit with Buffalo Wing University increased by $19. It is unlikely that they will be purchasing goods or services from me in the near future. I believe that it is at this time that Lou Dobbs and I beseech Congress to remedy the situation. Obviously Ben Bernanke needs to intercede upon my behalf.

We are creative SOBs

January 19, 2007

Reading the following post at Cafe Hayek, I am drawn to the comments and the discussions of how Mexican tortilla manufactures would circumvent price controls. The initial theory was that they would make the tortillas smaller, however the regulation targets weight and not quantity. This is not a brilliant move by the regulators. From my reading of the Gulag Archipelago I am reminded of Solzhenitsyn’s discussion of the bread rations in prison. The prisoners were guaranteed a certain weight of bread each day; however the camp officials sold the ingredients on the black market and the prisoners lived off of soggy misshapen lumps of “bread.”

My prediction is that the quality of corn tortillas will decrease.

Two minutes to midnight

January 18, 2007

My trade deficit with Kiariz coffee increased by $5.95.  The Doomsday clock advances another notch.

Elves of the Orient

January 17, 2007

According to the Financial Times, the United States is running a record $214 bn trade deficit with China. This widening gap will supposedly pressure the Secretary of the Treasury, Hank Paulson, into asking Beijing to appreciate their currency. Why?

Nothing could be better for the American consumer than to continue our current trade relationship with China. In fact, if I were a man of great influence and power, I would wish for a further devaluation of the RMB. The trade deficit exists because the Chinese send us stuff and in return they receive bits of green paper. This paper is then stacked and locked behind several feet of steel in a very large vault.

One morning as Lou Dobbs is walking out of his house to retrieve his morning paper, he stops to admire the sunrise. To his complete surprise, the sky is full of Chinese bombers. The bomb bay doors open. To his shock and horror, stereos, appliances, and other consumer electronics slowly parachute to the earth. The Chinese are not here to deliver hot fiery death; their purpose being far more sinister. They are dumping. Lou falls to his knees and throwing his hands in the air he weeps for America.

Imagine the worst case scenario, the Chinese refuse to take our currency and instead start catapulting goods onto American soil. These sadistic Christmas elves resolve to not stop their bombardment until our wish lists are emptied. The trade deficit reaches infinite proportions. Everyone loses their job. Corrupt Chicago politicians dance upon Wal-Mart’s corpse.

The horror. The horror.